"I cry!"

Okay. The terrible twos are in full gear. Zoe is a ditto machine. A recorder. A sponge.
We made the mistake of letting her see some Christmas movies, figuring, "Hell, it's X-Mas, it's special time, let her watch Frosty, fer god's sake!"
Wow. What a can of worms that opened.
Zoe is addicted to Frosty as I may have mentioned before.
She wakes up and talks about "Fossy Sno-men."
Then she points to the stuffed Frosty we made the mistake of giving her, thinking it so adorable that a child who has no concept of snow would fall in love with a SNOW man.
Then, she toddles out of her room, points to the living room and says, "I watt (watch) Fossy?!"
And, of course, the holiday is over so our answer is, "No."
Then she cries, sometimes the tears are real, other times they are crocodile tears.
But they are always followed with the exclamation of:
"I cry! I cry...... I CRY!"
In a way that seems to be saying, "Don't you understand? I was crying and, therefore you should give me what I want, for I was crying. Tears were streaming from my face and they were tears of sadness, be they imaginary or real. See, I CRIED for Frosty, Dad, and you should let me watch. Otherwise you are a very very bad dad."

Master manipulator? or Whiner?

You decide.

Swingin'

I know this is ridiculous and every parent is amazed at every little thing their kid does but, heck, it's been so long since I was part of a toddler's experience that I am giddy every time there is something new. And I am getting dangerously close to that time when it's all new and alien. (I was only intermittently in Liz's life from the time she was 2.5 til she was almost 5. It was a long time and a lot was missed.)
Zoe is a swingaholic. Most toddlers are, I guess. They love that feeling. Me, I get nauseated just thinking about it. I can recall being very young, maybe 5 and there was a swingset on a concrete slab behind the apartment we lived in.
I only have one memory of swinging on it, though. And that is immediately accompanied by a memory of that tingling feeling one gets on roller coasters. To some, it's exciting. I guess. To me it just feels like my insides are being tickled and not in a good way.
I took Zoe to the park today. The housekeeper was cleaning and Beth was doing stuff and we just needed some Dad and Daughter time. I wheeled her up to the park in her plastic car. She made a beeline for the swings.
There are only two at this park and they are side by side. One is a baby swing with a chain and the other is a big kid swing.
There was a kid on the baby swing. A four year old. His older brothers (way older) were swinging him. When all of a sudden, whoosh, he slid right under the chain.
He's four.
He didn't do it on purpose.
As we made our way over we were headed off by a woman and her 2.5 year old daughter. I assume the daughter is mute because she didn't utter a word the entire 30 minutes she was on the swing.
No matter. Beth had told me that she had, on occasion, put Zoe on the big kid swing at this park, since there are few options.
I did.
She immediately grabbed the chains.
And she swung.
For about a half hour.
Never needed to get on the baby swing.
I'm impressed.
What can I say?
Here's a couple of shots.






Well, more than a couple.

Zoe's first haircut.

I haven't written much lately, I know. It's not that there hasn't been anything going on, there have been holiday parties and celebrations and dinners and events ad nauseam.
And it isn't that I post pretty regularly to facebook (seriously, people, get on facebook, it's sooooo much easier to keep up with people and self blogging is a dying...um...art)
All that said, the reason I haven't posted too much here is that because of one person and a letter that I received.
I won't mention who that person is, because it would be embarrassing and I'm not here for that. Suffice to say it's someone whose opinion meant a lot to me. And that person seriously chided me for using the various mediums (YouTube, Blogger, Facebook) to report on my daughter. This person made it seem like it was an invasion to them and it made them feel like I was bragging about my kid and/or they felt inadequate about theirs. (Either their child or the fact that they don't bloviate about their kid the way I do.)
I was taken aback and it took me a while to realize....
I don't give a damn.
You don't like the show? Change the channel.
The lengths that some people will go to to control others or judge is astounding.
I recommend unsubscribing from this blog if you feel that reading about Zoe and her life is an imposition or overindulgent, self-aggrandizing ballyhoo.
So, here we go.

As you know, Zoe was born with hair that would make Sweeney Todd salivate. The thing about this stuff is, it keeps growing. Bangs in the eyes, hair in the face, it's unmanageable and hard to cut, for all of Zoe's energy and need to wiggle her head in the direction of the point of the scissors.

So we took her to Yellow Balloon, which is a barber shop in the valley that specializes in children. They have toys, tv's playing Kung Fu panda, pinball machines, balloons, it's quite festive. (Adults get their hair cut there, too. And when we went there were two men, both in their 40s that were getting their hair cut. That was scary in so many ways.)

Zoe approached the barber chair, oblivious to what was about to happen.


The odd thing was, once she got in the chair....She was remarkably co-operative. Just. Sat there.


She even seemed to enjoy watching herself in the mirror at times.



She did everything the barber asked and more.



And in the end, she ended up with a nice cut and some glitter. (We didn't ask for it and had we been we would have declined as it was close to naptime)



The thing about Zo's hair is the way it waves, when we brush it we can either bob it under like you see here or give her a Carol Brady flip. And you KNOW which I prefer.....;)



See ya in the New Year, folks!

Zoe meets Sinterklass

Yes, we did it. We introduced Zo Zo to the mythical figure and uber-lie that is Santa. To the Grove we went where Santa's house is ginormous, fake snow falls from the sky and miniskirted rockette type dancers ride the trolly and shake it to Holiday tunage.

We get the video of the experience but I am not uploading it here right now.
If you want to see the short flick, come on over to Facebook, add me (or Beth as a friend) and you can see it there.

Hope to see you there!

update: Here is the video for those who don't wish to come to the Facebook gulag.

Been a while....

I guess I should just shut down this blog, right? I mean, I spend much more time informing the world of Zoe's doings on Facebook.
But I keep this because, well, it's a blog and that means its a place to talk about whatever I want, in this case, in relation to having a daughter that is blowing my mind.
Why?
Because she is 19 months and can count to three. She can also count to 10 if you accept the fact that she skips "4".
Oh, and she is picking out EVERY letter in the alphabet by sight! It's a little daunting, having a kid that is smarter than you.
But she is.
And she loves "Cickies". especially Chocolate Chip ones!
I will write more but I'm just gonna dump a handful of pics here and encourage all of you to come over to Facebook, be my and Beth's friend and then you sill see (and comment) on whatever pics we put there.
We're up in Sonoma with Beth's Aunt's family, her dad and Nana for Thanksgiving. It's our yearly sojourn. But it's even more special this time because Zoe's so much more fun.

Zoe Rocks

Liz Loved Green Day. It wasn't forced upon her, she just heard it, dug it and started dancing.
I've been wondering what kind of music Zoe would like. After all, we play EVERYTHING in this house.
You name it, it gets played.
There is one kind of music that she dances to every single time it's on.

Zoe In The Morning

Posted with LifeCast

Trick or Treat!

In eleven days Zoe will get her first taste of a real bona-fide kid's holiday. Before Santa comes in the dead of night. Before ChanaClaus spins the dreidel. Before She gets stuffed on Nana's Broccoli casserole. Before all that is the great dusk walk of toddlers for candy.
Up til 3 weeks ago we were all set to send her out as Boo from Monster's Inc. She looks JUST like Boo. We even got a bunch of Monster's Inc dolls, showed her the movie, everything. And then we realized, shit, it's just too hard to explain to those who don't recognize the character.
Then Beth had the lightning bolt idea to send Zo out as a hippie. Only, she seems to be less a hippie than she is sort of Grrl Rocker.
I prefer that. She's no groupie and with her attitude and force of personality, she ain't no hippie.

Our scary future.

Zoe readin

Zoe was caught reading. Well, reading her "Adopt-a-Hulk" book.

Political Wonk in training.

Need anything be said?

Zoe's first tat.

Zoe's friend, Sadie, turned two and had a party.
Songs.
Food.
And a face painter.
Once Zoe got her arm tattoo she begged for more.

All in due time, goth girl. All in due time.

Zoe wants to make an educated decision.

Zoe loves stickers.
Zoe loves to say "No-o-o!"
Zoe loves to eat peas.
She loves to sit on the counter while I cook.
She loves to dance.
She loves balloons.
But nothing seems to fascinated her as much as the Sarah Palin issue of Time Magazine.






God help me.

Chocolate chip cookies!!!!!!!

Beth made chocolate chip cookies this afternoon. Zoe got ONE and went kookoo dancing in place bananas. So much for the sugar free baby.
Ah, screw it! Bring on the chocolate, right, Zozo??

A Most Appropriate Title

As the terrible twos take full swing and the tantrums really take hold I thought this book seemed eerily prescient and apropos

ZoTat.

The tribute to ZoZo. Thanks to Iden for the design and to Emily @ Purple Panther for the work. Nearly painless, and exceptionally priced.

The Zoe Logo as Tattoo

Sitting in the chair @ purple panther getting the Zoe Logo tattoo done. Hard to type while emily is poking my skin with needles but it'll be worth it.

Update: The original blogging of this was done on my iPhone while I was in the chair. That is Emily actually doing the work. She was great. The tat looks fantastic. The colors, the size, everything. Best way I could think to celebrate ZoZo and how much she means to me. If you look to the right you will see the template, but if you wait a little while I'll bet I can be persuaded to post a pic.

Dinner in Culver City.

Zoe was crazy awesome at the audition, winning over everyone and behaving like a dream child. So we all celebrated with an early dinner at Ford's Filling Station. (Harrison Ford's Son's place)

Firebug? Firefly? Bugaloo?

At Amy's Playhouse in Pasadena

Zoe Lulu: Smart Baby or the Smartest Baby (or a really great scam artist?)

Pediatrician day was this week. Chicken Pox shot. Holy crap in a bucket! No pain, nothing. It was like she didn't even know that she got the shot at all. Just sat there. Amazing what they can do these days........
We learned a couple of things about the midget this week. First off, she is a stimFreak. (I use the term Pain Whore but that's kind of inappropriate for your toddler. However, the doc thought that was hysterical)
She likes stimulation. All kinds. WE should have known by the way she moves from plastic-musical aquarium to the plastic musical aquarium and plays them at the same time. The other day she became infatuated with some clothespin-like plastic chip clips we have. I was making them talk and she was trying to touch the ridged parts of the clamp. So, I thought, well, I'll put this on her finger, she won't like it and that will be the end of that. No way, Hose B. She would laugh, and pull them off, scratching her fingers as she yanked and then DEMAND that I reapply them.
This went on for about 20 minutes until I got bored.
Then Beth had her outside talking to the neighbors and Zoe went up the base of the palm tree, where the teeny splintered bark is, and hugged it. Really rubbed her hands down the tree over and over. Her fingers were bloody and the splinters were embedded in the tips.
No matter, it made her laugh!
When we told the doctor about this he just talked about how Zo really likes stimulation and that we shouldn't be worried. (Speaking of stim....guess who just discovered her......um....happy place? This all makes me very uncomfortable.)
Then I regaled the doctor with the story about Zoe and the combs. While I was parting her hair I gave Zoe the black comb and the pink comb to hold and, hopefully, distract her. Then I asked her: "Which is the pink one, Zoe?"
She raised the pink one and said, "Dere!". She did the same with the black and vice versa. Never got it wrong. But it begs the question: Who told her what Pink was? Or Black for that matter? How did she pick it up????
His response?
To be honest, it makes me a little uneasy to write this because I really really don't want to be one of those, "My kid is gifted!" assholes. I hate people who act like every little thing their kid does makes them a genius. In fact, I feel more inclined to agree with This Stuff White People Like Post every day.
I can't stand the "my kid's gifted" folk almost as much as I hate hate hate helicopter parents. Yo! Your kid's gonna fall. It's okay. It's not the end of the world. The reason they don't have knees yet and their bones are still cartilage is so they CAN fall down and get back up. Trust me. THAT is what builds self esteem, not coddling their every move and hovering over them because you are afraid that they might bump into the air. Sheesh.
Anyway, back to the Doc.
Ugh, here I go:
"I don't often say things like this. I choose my words very carefully but, I have to say, Zoe is, well, she's advanced. She's very smart. Do either of you speak another language?"
No, but her nanny is hispanic.
"Great! From now on the nanny is not allowed to speak anything BUT spanish to Zoe. She will pick it up so fast you will be amazed."

So we told that to Zo's 18 year old nanny. Who started speaking spanish to Zo. Who promptly started to understand at the end of the first day.

Awesome.

Dateline: 2057
Zoe Lulu, daughter of semi-employed actors, named youngest woman to the Supreme Court.

It's either that or Dominatrix, right?

here's a couple pics.

The Nicknames

Zoe has a ton of nicknames.
All of them are actually used. Daily. Some of them make sense. Many don't.
If you have one that you would like to add, let me know.
Here are the nicks:

Zoe Mina (Said together and fast)
ZoZo (Commonly used for Zoes)
Zoester (sadly, this one has stuck. Said incorrectly it's a herpe. So, punch the O.)
Zobag (Probably the most offensive and only used by me)
Zoeyoey (A favorite of Beth's)
Zingko (Both this and Ziggy are just because of the two syllabled Z sound.)
Ziggy
MinaMina (Her middle name squared)
Minamoo (Infrequent)
Chaya (Her hebrew name)
Chaya Batya (Both of her hebrew names)
ZoeMinaChayaBatyalism (Her full name turned into a disease)
Zogby (Because every kid should be named after a political poll)
Zobo (Aunt Allyson uses this one)
Zozilicious (She is, isn't she?)
Zosie (Used often early, less so now)
Zozovo (Another from Aunt Allyson. I like it for the similarity to Kosovo)
Pataytas (Because she is like a little sack of.....)
Potato Face (Her earliest non-name nick that has stuck)
Mogadishu (I honestly have no idea why I started calling her this. And yet, I keep doing it)

There ya go. The ZoeNicks.
What's YOUR favorite?

On the Beach

As summer vacation comes to an end we decided to finish it off with a sojourn to Venice Beach. Not to watch the freaks, but, rather, to actually hang on the shore, dip in the water and eat at C&O Pasta Trattoria.
How did Zoe fare at the ocean?
Undaunted. Fearless. Danger girl.
She also has a predilection toward Surfer dudes and skater boys. Things don't look that good for dad in about 14 years, do they?
There was a moment when it got a little scary as Zo sat on the beach, awaiting the surf, and got knocked down by a wave I misread as being smaller than it was. The site of my daughter, sumberged, water and sand covering her entire head and body was a little daunting but she recovered, blew her nose, sneezed and headed back in.
So much for fear of water.

Here is Zo's first day at the beach.

The kid loves the sand.


She races IN to the water.



Proud Papa and Danger Girl


Once she decided she liked it, we couldn't keep her out.



The kid with sand EVERYWHERE. Bliss.



Zoe and her new crush, cousin Aaron.




Tasting garlic rolls with Olive Tapenade



Stuffing her face full of Lobster Linguine